The Pivot

2014 was a momentous year for me, though not in a happy way. In May, 2014, I resigned from my second teaching career, which had given me joy and purpose for the first five years, and frustration and stress for the final three years. I kept hoping that things would improve, but instead, they just got bleaker.

As relieved as I was to no longer be teaching, I felt like I’d lost my identity; I’d failed—I’d given up on teaching. If I wasn’t a teacher, who was I? Although I’d heard that what you do does not equal who you are, I just didn’t know how to define myself anymore.

Besides, I really wanted meaningful work and a regular paycheck. Over the next year I sent out 100 applications for employment; I made the short list for three positions, but I never landed one.

I was really disappointed, but I returned to my critique group and slowly started writing again. I had always said I’d go back to writing when I retired; I just hadn’t realized I was already retired.

In 2015 Jeff Goins released his book The Art of Work. I was already familiar with his writing; in fact, his 500-word Challenge jumpstarted my return to writing. The Art of Work made me feel comfortable with this next act of my life. The turning point for me was Chapter 5, titled “Pivot Points: Why failure is your friend.” Goins posits that each failure, whether it’s a dream that just doesn’t come to fruition or the loss of a job, is an opportunity to change direction, pivot, try something new. Many times we stick with what we’re doing, even if it’s no longer rewarding, because we’re hoping things will change, or because we’ve already invested so much time in it. We end up not trying something different until we’re forced into it—by failure. Without failure, we might never find that thing we were born to do.

Another chapter I found interesting was Chapter 2, “Accidental Apprenticeships.” When I was teaching, I was required to do other things that weren’t directly involved in working in the classroom. Each teacher was expected to maintain a personal page on the school website, which was to be the place parents could refer to when they wanted to know what their children were learning in your classroom. All of us went through training to learn how to design our webpages.

Also, teachers “volunteer” to do all sorts of things unrelated to teaching but important to the running of the school, things for which there is no funding. Teachers have “morning duty” and “dismissal duty” and “lunch duty” and “playground duty.” They sit on committees; they raise funds. For the last three years of my teaching career, I ran the Yearbook Club. With a bunch of fifth and sixth grade helpers, I put together the school yearbook. It took a lot of (unpaid) time, but it was also an artistic and creative outlet for me, laying out yearbook pages on the photography company’s software.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that the tech skills I was learning were an excellent preparation for something I never expected to do—blogging. While teaching, I was unintentionally doing an apprenticeship for something else. Those myriad hours were not wasted.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you planned. But that’s okay. It might initially feel like a failure, but don’t forget: it’s an opportunity to pivot to something that could be a better fit for you. Go for it!

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A Poem

dark sunset; Awaiting the moonrise
awaiting the moonrise 

glorious summer evening
sunset projects its technicolor light show
decorating the mesa with jewel tones until
the sun sinks and the sky fades
night smothers the blazing colors like a blanket tossed over embers
sky deepens to midnight black
awaiting the pin-pricks of stars piercing its canopy
the distant suns winking
moon rises and rules the sky

©ARHuelsenbeck

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Video of the Day: Ivor Moiseyev Ballet in Rehearsal

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Video of the Day: Hymn of the Cherubim

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Song of the Day: Canticle of the Turning

We often sing “Canticle of the Turning” at our church, but I never knew until Pastor Andrea preached on the Annunciation that it’s based on Mary’s song (also known as the Magnificat). Here is the passage from Luke, Chapter 1 (NIV):

46 And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.”
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A Poem

Clown; Strange and Wonderful
Strange and Wonderful

You’ve always been kind of an oddball
(I mean that in the most wonderful way)
Not seeing the obvious
But pursuing unseen unicorns
Delving the hidden meaning of the mundane

You’ve always been a wonder
Surprising me with unexpected gifts
That I didn’t know I wanted
Showering me with gadgets
I never knew existed

You’ve always been a childlike genius
Delighting in simple discoveries
Pointing out their great complexities
And their momentous implications
Like a tot gleefully blowing dandelion seeds across a flawless lawn

You’ve always been an experimenter
Embracing and abandoning passions
Cluttering the house with all your accoutrements
Ready to flit on to the next great exploration
Like a mad scientist/butterfly

Ours is a strange and wonderful relationship
(You’re strange and I’m wonderful)
My friends tell me I’m tolerant
Or is it just that I’m amused
Viewing the world through your lens

©ARHuelsenbeck

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God is Crazy About You

Treat yourself to reading this sermon by Nadia Bolz-Weber.

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Colin Powell’s Rules

  1. It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
  2. Get mad, then get over it.
  3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
  4. It can be done!
  5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
  6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
  7. You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.
  8. Check small things.
  9. Share credit.
  10. Remain calm. Be kind.
  11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
  12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
  13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

~ from My American Journey by Colin Powell with Joseph E. Persico

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Trust

O God
when I am afraid
I will trust in You
I surrender my fear
believing that You are in control
You see me
You love me
You know best what I need

I lay my concerns at Your feet
I let go
and I’m enveloped by Your Presence
Your peace flowing like a river
transcending all understanding
You know best what I need
I love You

©ARHuelsenbeck

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Video of the Week: Joni Mitchell’s Song Amelia, Analyzed

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